A Cooler and A Wrap

I now have a plan for travel days. I'll have to bring home my cooler from the office and reclaim some of my blue ice. I also have to find or create a little wrap recipe for travel days. John gave me some ideas, but I didn't write them down... so guess what... I forgot. I bought the green tortillas... so I'll start there and find something yummy to put inside.

The pain in my right leg is getting a bit better. (I think... I don't remember doing any inclines today so I'm not so sure.)

He asked me what the hardest part of doing all of this has been so far. If you know me, then you know that I have about a billion self-judgments. That has been the hardest part. It helps to be meeting someone at the gym who is on my side. Having the trainer there has helped me to stay present when the stream of thinking starts to distract me from what I'm doing. Hopefully this will develop into a new habit for me. It truly is a metaphor for life. I go, I'm uncomfortable, I feel out of place, I assume others are judging me, I judge myself, and I breathe. I notice I'm breathing, I notice I'm stepping. Step. Step. Step. Then I notice I'm sweating and that John is talking to me. I notice what he is saying and I notice the spot on the machine in front of me. I keep doing it over and over. Thoughts pop in, judgments creep in, and I keep noticing. And I keep going.

There is also a huge amount of self-validation and self-care that has come of this. Chopping the onions for my meal, shopping for shoes, and washing my work out clothes are all ways to take care of myself. It's like putting on a band-aid. Oh, and putting on band-aids, that is huge validation. I hurt and will care for myself. It's easy to think of in terms of a blister. But I am doing the same thing on the bigger scale. I hurt and I will care for myself.

This may be the most introspective I've been since starting.

Tonight for dinner was my new favorite, Ginger Steamed Tilapia with Chile Garlic Sauce and broccoli. YUM!