Day 1: Happy New Year

This evening Ginny and I rang in the new year with a salt flush and some spicy lemonades. It begins. When Ginny told me that she felt inspired to cleanse for 40 days I felt afraid and anxious. As I begin down this path I realize the my body will lead me if I am willing to trust. 40 days seems like a long time, forever, but I would like to spend a moment to appreciate what is possible.

My intention for this cleanse is to give my body a chance to rest and detox from the accumulation of a difficult 6 months. "Rest, I will take care of you." I have gone over the shame in my head like a broken record,  an uncomfortable 12 inches. Not all of what happened over the past months was in my direct control. I'd like to let go of feeling shame and worthlessness for those things that I couldn't change in the moment. And I would like to do my best to care for my body, spirit, and mind as best I can now that I am in a better place to do so. A cleanse is perhaps one of the most compassionate things I can do for myself at this time.

I would like to take this time for rest and clarity. I would like to do better with keeping my meditation practice. I would like to develop deep compassion for myself and let go of judgments that I have been harboring against my own self. I have done the best I can do given difficult situations- and have come to a loving place. I'm so grateful for that.

I would like to spend time in clarity getting my responsibilities in order in both my personal and work life. I would like to get caught up with my work- and help others do the same in a way that is helpful and validating to their (and my) true needs. I would like to expand into my deep knowledge and creativity to create some designs and move through inspiration to prepare for an amazing year of on-the-ground work that is already changing people in profound ways.

I pray for my future self who will be facing challenging times over the next 40 days. A future self who may feel frustrated with a headache, nausea, and hunger. I see the suffering a future I may be in- I wish every gift of comfort, patience, and joyful work for myself.

I pray for my cleanse partner and the fears and self doubt she is holding. May she feel confident determination to care for her body so that she may unfold into things she never knew she was capable of this year.