Day 12: Drained and Renewed

Last night when I got home I think my body purged a ton of toxins. I stayed up pretty late because I had to go to the bathroom every time I tried to lay down. I also got a disgusting yellowish brown coating on my tongue that tasted awful. (Sort of moldy smelling.) My stomach was bloated and my intestines felt uncomfortable. The feeling has continued through to today and on top of it I'm feeling exhausted and fatigued. I feel deeply tired and really want to rest.

When I woke up this morning I noticed an attitude change about the salt. I actually looked forward to the salt flush this morning because I knew it would make me feel better. It did help to calm my gut and get my day started. I wonder if this is because of the increase in cayenne pepper in the lemonades. I'm glad my body is working so hard to get rid of the junk that's been hiding out in my cells. I'm going to take it easy and spend some time soothing myself and being gentle with myself today.

I think it's time to dim the lights and put on some nice, relaxing music.

Breathe. Water. Lemonade. Compassionate thoughts.

...
Doing this cleanse has really given me the time and space to do some difficult work that has been lingering. I decided to clean my apartment with the time I have now that I'm not cooking, eating, and washing dishes. I ran a load of items to goodwill. It felt good to pass on the accumulation of stuff that I had here in my dining room. I'm slowly getting things sorted and better organized. I'm giving away a lot of items that are just cluttering my life. And I have some items that I haven't known what to do with. (This is all going somewhere.) I contacted my friend to get his address so I could send him his vinyl and cd that I got singed by Alan Wilder for him. I'm going to box up the blood pressure meter and send it to my friend that needs it. (Since I no longer need it after the weight loss.) I gave my old poet friend the opportunity to tell me what he wants me to do with is huge box of papers. And then I came across my old best friends art that she asked me to hold on to for her since she didn't want to put it into storage. I sent her a message to ask her what she would like me to do with it- and that opened up space for us to talk to each other again. I have missed having her in my life so much. We had a wonderful conversation this evening and talked about what the rift between us was really about. We made amends and have begun to repair the friendship that has been so important to us both. I have my friend back. And my apartment is slowly getting less and less cluttered with reminders of an old life lived for the pleasure of stuff. On this leg of the journey I'd like to live more for the pleasure of love and friends.