November 28, 2010

Who Is This Girl?

I'm not sure I remember who I am anymore. I just finished hanging up my clothes after doing laundry. All of them are new. (Well new to me, all from Goodwill in great condition.) I know I've said it before, bit it's a strange experience putting on clothes in sizes I have no business wearing. I know it's not only the benefit of giving seam allowances and cotton poly blends, because there is no way I could have even put on a medium pair or pants only 6 months ago. Yep, medium. I just bought 3 pairs of medium lounging pants. I now see the frustration with size variance now. I never had to think much about it before since all my clothes came from Lane Bryant. Now I see how a 16 by Liz Claiborne is not the same as a 16 from Old Navy. Even between the brown and white 16 Old Navy pants, they are a different fit. Is this the fashion frustration I've been missing out on all my life? I'm kinda loving it!
Who is this girl who walks 5ks with no problem on a cold November day? Who is this girl who loves to sweat until the endorphin release kicks in and the warmth drowns out all thought? I started jogging part of the treadmill intervals recently. Jogging! It's actually less painful on my ankle to jog than walk fast. I figured it out by accident while working out in the San Francisco hotel. The interval program was far more complicated than the one at my gym and I accidentally selected an interval that popped me up to 4.6. To my great surprise, I didn't die after the 2 minute interval. It certainly gets me sweating reliably. I wonder what John would say. I am grateful for his guidance and companionship over the last 6 months. I'm not sure I could have made it without him. He only needed to speak several words that really sunk into my psyche. I guess that's his power. And I will always be grateful for the role he played in my life. Maybe someday his life will calm down enough for him to be able to train me again.
In the mean time I need to recommit myself to tracking my calories daily again and sticking to a new modified meal plan. I'm going to try to create a group in myfitness pal for people who would be willing to share meal and exercise ideas. Maybe a close group of friends who are committed will help. I don't want to give up. In fact, I feel like I'm just getting started. Being sick has been torture. All I want to do is Trubo Kick, jump, dance, and move! I like this new me. 53 pounds down and loving it!

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