April 17, 2011

A Seedier Kind of Metaphor

I don't think I could have predicted where my life was going to end up after taking that first step, back in May 2010, to change my life. I'm not sure that I really thought of that first step as life-changing. It took all my energy to walk into John's office at the gym; I wasn't thinking about what my life would be like a year later! Now here I am, the same Carmen, but totally different. I've been in a nice equilibrium lately and have been enjoying trying to figure out what my new moving target is these days. Life has demanded some of my attention lately, and I've been happy to attend to some important things. Now it's time to draw my energies back in to start spinning a new circle.

Circles. Everything in my life is well defined by sets of interconnected circles. Like the olympic rings, but swirlier. I've been reconnecting with myself in new ways. I'm learning that eating well is a pleasurable luxury. I still have some more work to do on weight loss, but this peek into life in stasis has been nice. Coconut oil makes every treat rich with a sinful silk texture. Organic maple syrup is intensely delicious. And organic cream cheese is like nothing I have ever tasted. If this is what I have to look forward to more often when I reach the end of my weight-loss journey, I can't wait to get back to sweating!

Now, my new goal is to learn to grow my own food. At least as much as possible living in a north-facing apartment with an enclosed patio. Once I get the community gardens up and running I will have much more space to play in. I have seedlings galore in flats putting down roots into various mediums. Everything is an experiment. Vermiculite? Perlite? Potting soil? Worm castings? This is all new to me! I'm mixing it up with little worry about what will survive and what won't I'm going to pay attention to what works and revise what doesn't. I have some seedlings awaiting true leaves before transplanting. I transplanted some too early. I have willow tonic constantly brewing and worm castings waiting to become a tea. I'm excited to learn what works. I have Dr. Bronner's diluted for a soap insecticide until I can get the Safer Soap. I have weather blankets for the delicate sprouts outside. I have organic fertilizer and mycorrhyzae ready to go. I hope I get food! I have never been this immersed in getting these little things to grow. I always got frustrated and gave up. Now I have more information and tons of advice and help to get going. I'll just keep planting, something has to grow!

Kinda like life, huh.

Is it too late to start over?

I started out full-steam on Turbo Fire, ready to crush it, but life had other plans for me. It has felt right to take a little break after the passing of my grandfather. I had to make an unexpected trip to Arizona to be with family for the burial. When I got home, I came down with a bad case of bronchitis. I guess this has forced me to slow down and recover, and I think I needed the time. I'm going back and forth about what I'm doing these days. I have managed to lose 2 pounds since starting Fire despite my constant cravings for sugar. I think it's time to start working on putting the cravings on the back burner to let my body know who's in charge here. And as soon as I'm recovered, it's time to ease my way back into regular workouts.

John gave me wonderful news the other day. My Karen is now his Karen! I'm going to start a membership at his gym ASAP (finally) and see how Turbo feels in that nice pretty room there.

So I'm starting another Metaphor, seedlings. Yes, this is my year to learn how to grow my own food. And I'm starting by germinating from seed. My first batch of seedlings failed. I had to leave them in the care of my coworkers when I went to Arizona. I can't really blame them for not caring as much as I do about them. They didn't get watered every day (for a whole long weekend.) And most of them died. The rest died when I tried to harden them off. Lesson learned. Seedlings need careful attention. I now have a fresh batch of sprouts sitting on my patio in germination boxes with their lids still on to keep them protected until they are strong enough to begin experiencing the elements. We will be having a cold snap Monday, so they will be coming in this evening to keep warm until the cold snap passes. Today I'm going to a rose pruning and transplanting class at the Flower Tree. I hadn't thought about roses before because of the permaculture function conundrum, but rose hip tea does sound good.

I'm also going to begin a cookbook. I have put a lot of work into the meal plans that have gotten me this far (56 pounds lost). And I think it would be worth starting a downloadable book of my nutrition discoveries on this path of becoming a leaner me. Maybe a little book of things I've learned, recipes I've pared down to serving sizes of 1, and recipes I've created to make losing weight feel like a gourmet vacation. With spring-time coming and fresh produce around the corner, I'm excited to work on her recipes for this phase of my journey. I have to create a special dish for my new favorite ingredient: the newly discovered Organic Red Quinoa.

Yum.