I can't believe I'm standing on the brink of another master cleanse. Last night I was feeling fearful about the decision. This morning I feel determined. One thing I can't deny is the amazing beneficial effect my last master cleanse had on my path of healing. It also felt wonderful and there were other side benefits that I enjoyed such as ultra clear skin and bright happy eyes. Taking that into account, it's interesting that I had such a response of fear.
I've been languishing in a state of sad aloofness when it comes to my physical being. I'm working on forgiving myself for getting to such a state. When my car broke down in July I had no idea what a change was about to happen. I thought I could manage just fine with a bike- but getting around Fallon can be difficult in challenging weather. (For instance this morning it's 7 degrees.) I also didn't plan on having a healing crisis and illness cascade. It turns out that this is a pretty common occurrence for those who are healing from Lyme disease. So being sick for months on end in combination with no car, and Nevada weather made staying on to of my physical regimen very difficult and at some times impossible.
I am having a hard time forgiving myself for letting things get to this point in only 6 short months. But now, by the blessings of my Mom, I'm back to driving and have the added incentive of helping to coach Ginny through her first master cleanse.I think this will be a good time to work on forgiveness and compassion for myself. And when I woke up this morning it seemed clear that beginning this cleanse was one of the most compassionate things I could do for my body.
My goal on this cleanse if to help my body detox from months of poor eating and lack of exercise. I would like to make this the turning point in my physical commitment to myself. I would like to return to eating whole, natural, healthy, healing foods after this cleanse. Perhaps even work in some raw component to my diet so that I can better understand what it means to be raw to be of assistance in editing Matt's book. I would like to start on the path to living in physical harmony and supporting my healing process. I would like to get back into an exercise routine that works in combination with my healing path as well- whatever it looks like. I would like to love myself and make decisions that are kind to my body so that my mind can find a peaceful place to contemplate the precious moments that have been gifted to me in this new year.
I began cleaning out my kitchen this morning. I'm going to set myself up for success, as Eric taught me to do. I'm going to be sure that the fridge and clean and that there is no easy food laying around for me to feel tempted with. I'm going to sharpen my knives and thoroughly wash my cutting boards. Later today we will gather our supplies and settle in this evening with a salt flush and perhaps tonglen meditation of compassion for a future me.
To Health!
